Respondent has given me years of suspicious and manipulative behavior, with dissociation and easily refutable denials of her own behavior and actions, and then going further and attempting to project her own gaslighting actions onto me.

L: Help me with [you] and to have my mom stop doing what she’s doing, like stop strangling, scratching me, throwing me into a wall and claiming it was the middle of the bed and holding me by my wrists and ankles. That’s what.

L: She said I was “lying” about her. What’s kind of weird is that she says everything I tell people about her is a “lie”, but if she says I lie “all the time”, then am I lying about “everything”? Because she seems like I’m not lying about “everything”, but only her. That’s what’s kind of confusing.

Summary of Respondent’s Condition

  • Has a documented history of mental and emotional illness.
  • Disassociates from parts of reality she doesn’t fully agree with, especially if it “makes her feel bad”.
  • Exaggerates memories, injects convenient lies in her favor, and omits her own part in inciting problematic behavior.
  • Has craving to be “right” about these things, even if it’s with misinformation.
  • Instigates verbal or physically violent outbursts or altercations to further attempt to assert her versions of “truth” and then disallows response if not entirely passive or in full apologetic agreement.
  • Rallies only other people to her side that will agree with her sole point of view.
  • Projects her personal internal or external problems onto others, in such a way that the environment becomes depressive.
  • Pits people against those she disagrees with, using aggressive statements to inappropriate audiences (example: our children), then obfuscating such conversations by instilling unfair secrecy.
  • Uses certain “privileges” (in this case, being biologically female) to rouse pity, denounce my emotions as less valid than hers, and suggest that any challenge to her ways of thinking is because she is misunderstood by me purely because of gender.
  • Continually insists she “has trust issues”.
  • Her telling of events that “happen to her” *sounds* believable, typically painting me as an antagonist, requiring my documentation of the situation so she doesn’t attempt again to use our kids as a power-play.

Visit draft: “Psychology of Narcissism: An Outline” (access currently limited to Facebook friends only)

History

Respondent lives a life of malingering and often factitious disorder. It is her desire only to “find something wrong” with herself, when it is convenient for her, to manipulate others into doing what she would like them to do. {EXHIBIT: Valter’s evaluation about Respondent’s malingering possibility} It is her desire only to “find something wrong” with other people in a way that she can “label” them by her own perspective, as warped as it clearly is, in order to further her selfish motives. {EXHIBIT: declaration of disorders that Lily does *not* have, other than by Respondent’s improper representation} A witness says that Respondent has her friend Ahzriel “going around telling everyone [he’s] ‘crazy’, and stopped paying child support, and trying to take her kids away, and that she and her ‘three kids’ are gonna be homeless and need money” {EXHIBIT: declaration; possibly transcription of phone call}

Respondent is repetitively intentionally misrepresenting actual discipline methods, as well as when they happened, and ignoring to admit her own agreement and part in using exactly the same discipline, most often using much more “yelling” or outright screaming than anything I ever did, at the children and me, often causing CPS calls, and naturally ignoring to mention that all physical forms of discipline ceased around 2010 when Respondent had begun to champion “natural consequences” which was later seen by the custody evaluator as “permissive” when Respondent interacted with the children, specifically as it pertained to Bre. Respondent lost physical custody of Bre to only visitation in 2012, dominantly due to the custody evaluator’s concerns about Respondent’s competency and transparency.

From the actual gaslighting abuse I endured by Respondent during our relationship, I would have a constant need to keep her company to be certain she’s “okay”, and she would reinforce this feeling when she would become needy if I wasn’t around to “help” her. Respondent attempts to use “gaslighting” as a false projection onto me to cover up her abuse. The custody evaluator even perceived my presence during Respondent’s interview as confusing, and naturally this makes sense if Respondent had not revealed the reason why I was there at her side. Respondent had belabored and lamented incessantly prior to the two custody evaluation sessions about how Bre’s father is “always making her feel bad” and insisting by all forms of suggestion that she required comfort during the evaluation “in case she forgot anything” and “to help her stay on track because she tends to ramble” (Respondent’s self-assessment), and how much better it would be for Bre “because of her allergies” to live in Ventura or Oregon, away from her natural father in Lancaster.

Earlier in our relationship, Respondent and I had researched and found what could collectively be called “non-impact corporeal discipline”, which included in very limited capacity: wall chair (something Lily does in cheerleading as an exercise, and I did willingly as leg and balance strengthening in multiple points in life, including with all three children mimicking and doing actively when they would remember to), holding a single sealed gallon of water in front with two hands while standing (Lily is eight years old and typically offers to carry our 22 pound bag of cat food to the car, and can handle it, though I often either carry it for her or assure that she is properly balancing her body while carrying), or standing with two arms outward to the side holding nothing (something again used to great success in yoga, calisthenic exercise, and balance reinforcement). Previously Respondent was most often a yeller, screamer, spanker, and slapper of the three children. I have always had to step in to curb this behavior and to attempt to redirect to something that would obviously be more effective, and her lazy inaction and lack of compromise made for difficult progress.

Respondent has overblown the “dog urine” incident now to at least a custody evaluator, CPS, and Ventura Court, while Kaylie and I both say the event did not occur as Respondent reports out of her manic rage episode of 2011 that she continues to ignore her guilt about. A large majority of housework was done by me, and any of different approaches to get Respondent to do much herself was a failure, usually ending with her desire to routinely delegate such tasks to the children, in failed disorganized ways, demotivated from her own demonstrated laziness. {EXHIBIT: custody report about Respondent sleeping; Lily’s testimony about Respondent not waking up in the morning without “problems”}

I’m the same humble person she “fell in love with” in 2006 enough to take my virginity on our first date, orchestrated privately then publicly on MySpace, only now without the previous lack of self-confidence, enough to be myself, a much happier person free from Respondent’s emotional abuse of my self. The thing that makes her fixated on my mislabelled “craziness” is that she began to realize in 2014 that I was no longer going to allow her abuse of me or our children to continue, so she began to believe she was coaxing me further into revealing my transgender femininity enough to then use this, in a conservative area like Ventura, as a confirmation bias of her misguided thoughts of my “crazy”, and my newfound desire to care enough about myself, to have my appearance reflect how I feel, as confirmation bias of her misguided thoughts of my “narcissism”, despite living a live of literal abnegation due to myself enduring various forms of similar abuse growing up.

An additional abuse I endured (until it was over) was not being able to complete my divorce due to Respondent’s continued evasive and divisive behavior since her most recent aggravated kidnapping of our children in August 2015. This means I feel unable to properly file taxes, or legally change my name or gender, something Lily is also excited about and additionally chooses to change her last name to “Prime” to no longer endure verbal abuse at school due to the last name — the same abuse I survived growing up — until this family law case is closed. I already cannot rent a house or apply for credit anymore, have lost substantial employment, and endure daily emotional distress as a direct result of Respondent’s criminal actions, that only continues to grow my determination for justice. The amount of people who support me are much more numerous than the declarations included in my court filings, identities I kept unrevealed to Respondent due to safety concerns as long as possible, and this number will continue to grow, unless the court decides to now review all the facts and receive further available evidence to the truth of what is really going on in this case, and allow Lily, me, and Kaylie and Bre the best possible outcome: full custody of Lily to me in alignment with both Lily’s and my long-standing testified wishes, vacation of all of Respondent’s fraudulent orders including restraining orders so that Lily and I can regain unrestrained communication with Kaylie and Bre, and fair repayment of financial damages by Respondent, at the discretion of the court.

The only thing that could be considered “crazy” is that I continued to love Respondent and accept her “handicaps” beyond the time when she began to cause me to question why I was continuing to do so at my own sacrifice, as the love felt no longer returned, despite her fake reassurances.

If you stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about you.

Adlai Stevenson

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